Flying Wisdom...............

Sage Advice for Flyers Authors Unknown Historic illustration credits and appreciation go to Gil Walker

Flying Rules to Live By   1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.   2. Do not go near the edges of it.   3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.     4. The three most common expressions in aviation are, "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh Shit".   5.Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

6. Progress in airline flying: Now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.   7, Airspeed, altitude or brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.

8. A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.   9.I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.   10.We have a perfect record in aviation: we never left one up there!

11.If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter - and unsafe.   12. Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.

13. Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.   14. Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it.   15.What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.   16.If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.   H/T Shelly