Democratic National ConventionSchedule...............

4:00 PM Opening Flag BurningCeremony
4:05 PM Singing of "God Damn America" led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM Pledge of Allegiance to Obama

4:15 PM Ceremonial 'I hate America' led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM Tips on Dodging Sniper Fire , HillaryClinton
4:45 PM Al Sharpton Leads Castrati Choir in Singing"Great Balls of Fire"

5:00 PM UFO Abduction Survival, JoeBiden
5:30 PM Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values"via Satellite
5:45 PM Tribute to All 57 States

6:00 PM Joe Biden Delivers 100,000-WordSpeech Featuring 23-Minute Question and 2-Hour Answer
8:30 PM Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM BillClinton Delivers Rousing Endorsement of Obama Girl

9:15 PM Tribute Film to Freedom Fightersat Gitmo, Michael Moore
9:45 PM Personal Finance Seminar -Charlie Rangel
10:00 PM Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners

10:30 PM Ceremonial Waving of White Flagfor IRAQ & Afghanistan
11:00 PM Obama Energy PlanSymposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration
11:15 PM Free Gov. Blagojevichrally

11:30 PM Obama Accepts Tonyand Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM Feeding of the Delegates with 5Loaves and 2 Fish, Obama Presiding
12:00 AM Official Nomination ofObama by Bill Maher

12:01 AM ObamaAccepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM Celestial ChoirsSing
03:00 AM Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

H/T M Kohl