Pages

Wednesday 12 October 2011

Not even close to PC..........

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers .......
so I did....she's 21 and her name's Lucy

My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the
60's group The Monkees.

I thought she was joking ........ and then I saw her face

I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen,
ungrateful bleeders.
All I said was, 'hurry up for goodness sake, some of us have got homes
to go to!'

Christmas is like any other day for me, sitting at the table with a big fat bird
who doesn't gobble anymore.

Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or
getting your bloody tee ready!

Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he's mainly black and brown with
a small white patch,
so I've called him Leicester…………………………


H/T Roger

2 comments:

PacRim Jim said...

A man is sitting in a doctor's examination room.
"Doc, my penis turned orange last weekend, and I can't figure out what's wrong."
After examining it, the doctor said, "Yep, it's orange all right. Did you do anything unusual?"
"Well, doc, first thing last Saturday I went to the minimart to buy some porn and a bag of Cheetos."

Anonymous said...

Please have your house limey explain that last one to us yanks.