Southern Medical Dictionary..............

Artery.............................. The study of paintings
Bacteria............................ Back door to cafeteria
Barium............................. What doctors do when patients die
Benign............................ What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section...... A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty
Cauterize.......................... Made eye contact with her
Colic................................. A sheep dog
Coma............................. A punctuation mark
Dilate............................... To live long
Enema............................ Not a friend
Fester............................ Quicker than someone else
Fibula............................. A small lie
Impotent.......................... Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain................. Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff............... A Doctor's cane
Morbid........................... A higher offer
Nitrates.............................Cheaper than day rates
Node................................ I knew it
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis................. .......... Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative............ A letter carrier
Recovery Room.......... Place to do upholstery
Rectum........................... Damn near killed him
Secretion....................... Hiding something
Seizure........................ Roman emperor
Tablet........................... A small table
Terminal Illness.......... Getting sick at the airport
Tumor............................One plus one more
Urine............................. Opposite of you're out

H/T Shelly