OLD but still FUNNY

David Cameron has announced that he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits. From next week all the forms will be printed in English.

Husband says to wife 'My Olympic condoms have arrived - I think I'll wear gold tonight'. Wife says 'why don't you wear silver and come second for a change'.

I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown!'

An RAF fighter plane was flying over Afghanistan when he noticed a flying carpet on each side of his plane, both with a machine gunner on board. Sensing danger he shot them down. Back at base he got a right bollocking - apparently they were Allied Carpets!

On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking Doctor' - I thought what a good idea; why don't we have them in our country?

H/T Andi B