The Butterball Turkey Hotline highlights

Does the turkey go in the oven feet first or head first?
Can I baste my turkey with suntan lotion?
How long does it take to thaw a fresh turkey?
When does turkey hunting season start?
How do I prepare a turkey for vegetarians?
How long does it take to cook a turkey if I leave the oven door open the whole time? That’s how my mom always did it.

H/T DML