World Cup jokes

What's the difference between the England Team and a tea bag ?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer

I'm shocked at Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game.
Who knew he could even string a sentence together

Capello noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping bags,
so stopped to ask her, "Can you manage dear" ?
The old lady replied, "No way, you got yourself into this mess
so don't ask me to sort it out".

What do you call an English man in the knockout stages of the World Cup ?
A referee

What's the difference between Rooney and Shrek ?
Shrek can save the day

OXO have brought out a new cube - it's wrapped in white with a red cross on it, it's called the laughing stock

What's the difference between a faulty jet engine and Rooney ?
The jet engine eventually stops whining

H/T Old Dude