A Few More One Liners....

81. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
82. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
83. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
84. With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
85. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
86. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
87. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
88. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
89. You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.
90. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
91. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
92. Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
93. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!
94. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
95. Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
96. Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
97. If winning isn’t everything why do they keep score?
98. Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
99. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
100. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

H/T DML