Frog Bashing......

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The army.

How can you recognise a French veteran?
Sunburn

Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?
Germans like to march in the shade.

Why did it take Germany three days to conquer France in World War II?
Because it was raining.

Why did the French give America the Statue of Liberty?
Because she has only one arm raised.

Why do the French get more votes in the U.N.?
They vote with both hands.

Why is the French fighter plane called the Mirage?
It doesn't exist.

Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

What does 'Maginot' mean in German?
Welcome!

Why is the French Foreign Legion the only decent fighting force in the whole French Army?
Because it's made up of foreigners.

Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy?
To see all their other ships.

What did the mayor of Paris say to the German army as they entered the city in World War II?
'Table for 100,000, monsieur?'

Why are the French afraid of war?
You would be, too, if you had never won one.

How do you stop a French army on horseback?
Turn off the carousel.

Did you hear about the French admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died?
Five sailors died digging his grave.

What's the best thing about being French?
You can surrender at the beginning of the war and somebody else will win it for you.
'I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.'
General George S. Patton.

How do the French advertise surplus World War II rifles for sale?
'Never fired, only dropped once.'

H/T DML