Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullsh*t.
Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don't do sh*t.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the f***ing resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.
H/T DML
Thursday, 6 August 2009
World War II explained by Urban Dictionary.
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8 comments:
Ha.
Buy your bumper sticker here!
How true!!
That is the funniest freakin' thing I've read in weeks!
Everyone forgets the Pacific campaigns. Well, some remember the Burma Campaign, since the Brits were in it, it's legit. Some remember the South Pacific Campaign because it really mattered to the ANZAC, who were still best buddies to the Brits, so it's legit.
Cent Pac? Fugetaboutit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the f***ing resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Really true? Is there a historical reference?
The French SS were called the Charlemagne, IIRC. The others I don't recall but all this is quite true and omits others - Czech, Romanian, etc. Like Napoleon, Hitler had admirers and followers all over. Want references? Read William L. Shirer's Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. Ever heard of him?
Does that do you or do you need eyewitnesses and confessions?
There were indeed several divisions of SS troops recruited from the occupied western European countries.
Mainly French forces, with some thousands of Dutch, Belgians, Norwegians, and Danes included.
Remember that half of France was actually an independent country during WW2, and allied to Germany (independent in the same way that Poland was independent of the USSR during the Cold War that is).
National Socialism was very popular around the world in the 1930s and early '40s. There were active Nazi(like) parties in almost every democratic country, including the UK and US.
In the US, many opposed the idea of opposing Germany and instead wanted to join the axis powers. Had Pearl Harbour not happened, they might eventually have gained enough power to at least stop the US from reinforcing Brittain and the USSR.
As to resistance movements in the occupied countries in Europe, those were relatively small and poorly organised for the most part.
A few thousand here and there, scattered and without proper communications. Most of those groups were also thoroughly compromised by German intelligence and counter intel operations. Look up "Englandspiel".
And of course, what many now choose to forget, a lot of them were hardcore communists who opposed their own governments in exile as much or more than they did the Germans, thought they'd be able to take over after Germany was defeated and prevent the legitimate governments from returning home.
Marry me!
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