13 Great Things About Having a Small Penis

13. You have something to take the focus off your receding hairline.

12. It makes your otherwise-dainty hands look huge.

11. You get to have fun watching your sexual partner come up with creative compliments (God bless her) to make you feel better about your modest member, like "You're soooo hard!" "It grows so much!" and, worst of all, "It fits my vagina perfectly."

10. You can relate to women better because you more or less have a vagina.

9. Your son's penis envy will disappear by the time he hits 11.

8. Your balls look much more substantial.

7. You have a 14 percent better chance of talking your significant other into backdoor action.

6. You are marginally less likely to get your pecker caught in a wood mulcher. (It can happen!)

5. You can fit your entire chub in a $10 quarter roll and play a really awesome trick on a bank teller.

4. You have a perfect excuse to buy the new Ferrari 458 Italia, Rolex Yacht-Master II watch, or cigarette boat.

3. Smurf condoms only cost, like, 40 cents per pack.

2. Devoid of a false sense of entitlement, you will be motivated to develop an actual personality, a professional skill set, and the means to make a useful contribution to society.

1. You can write a best-selling memoir about your penis and make up with celebrity what you lack in length and girth!

H/T DML