One sentence stories..............

When I was 5 or so my mom would tell me to lie down before she tied my tie and I just now realized at the age of 19 that she did this because she’s a funeral director.

My 8-year-old sister proudly declared that she knows that “WTF” means “Wow, That’s Funny” and has been using it all over the internet.

I held my father’s hand as he died in that hospital room and realized I’d never held his hand before that moment.

Today you shaved your hair into a mohawk to make my mom laugh over losing hers to chemo and today I realized that you are my hero.

When asked to name the one person absent from her life that she missed the most, she responded, “The person I hoped I’d be by this point in my life.”

I conduct job interviews for a living and nothing gives me a better sense of wielding karma than giving the job to the nervous kid instead of the better qualified arrogant prick.

My online dating service matched me with my cousin.

Arriving home after sitting in traffic for two hours, I said to myself, “Oh, wait, I don’t live here anymore.”

As I woke up from my nap to find written on my feet “This is my momma and you can’t have her,” I realized that my child is very, very strange.

My mother called me to do a chore and I responded, “What you need, Woman,” to which my father chided, “Your mother is NOT a woman!”

H/T DML