New Medical Dictionary................

Artery: The study of paintings
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria
Barium: What doctors do when patients die
Benign: What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan: Searching for Kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Colic: A sheep dog
Coma: A punctuation mark
Dilate: To live long
Enema: Not a friend
Fester: Quicker than someone else
Fibula: A small lie
Impotent: Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain: Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff: A Doctor’s cane
Morbid: A higher offer
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates
Node: I knew it
Outpatient: A person who has fainted
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative: A letter carrier
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery
Rectum: Nearly killed him
Secretion: Hiding something
Seizure: Roman emperor
Tablet: A small table Terminal
Illness: Getting sick at the airport
Tumour: One plus one more
Urine: Opposite of you’re out

H/T DML