Light News.....

Top brass ‘bottled’ SAS hostage rescue. A total lack of balls in Whitehall.

BBC stars face 40% pay cuts: Huge salaries of Ross, Norton and Clarkson to be slashed. Sacking Ross would save a fortune. Wogan and Clarkypoos are worth the money.

Traveller sites are booming as they exploit the Human Rights Act to defy the law. They have no rights.

MPs' expenses: Shahid Malik admits charging taxpayer for two houses. Jail the crook.

Sergeant saves soldier shot by Taliban by pulling bullet out with fingers. Improv surgery.

Ahmadinejad mocked at World Cup qualifier ahead of election. Hee hee.

'Shoe bomber' Richard Reid on hunger strike in US prison. Let him starve.

US kills Afghan Taliban commander with links to Iran. Iran needs a slap.

Afghan war games shatter peace in deepest Norfolk countryside. All happens here.