News....

North Korea conducts nuclear test. What next? Swine flu could work.

The £6.2m bill: Scandal of how MPs are taking taxpayers for a ride with extortionate travel expenses. How many will survive the election?

Another bank holiday, another traveller invasion: The diggers roll in as council officials start their break. They must be moved.

RAF officers at risk of blackmail after files detailing drug abuse and use of prostitutes is stolen. Another security balls up.

Speculators blamed as petrol price rises over £1 a litre. The bloody city again.

So watt's a lumen? The EU's bright idea to rename light bulbs. More unwanted interference.

Can you name these common trees? What do they teach in schools these days?

New York bans cars from Times Square. Good idea. Would also work in parts of central London.

US: Iran could have nuclear bomb in one year. Even quicker if North Korea gives them one. Although one isn't a problem they have to 'test' it to prove it works. When they have 2 or 3 things get serious.

Commandos make record drug seizure in Afghanistan. Nice one.

Parliament Square 'may become shanty town' as Tamils prepare to stay. Move them.

Japan's big guns prepare to rejoin global arms industry. A Pacific arms race, haven't we been there before.

Hugo Chávez tightens noose on critical news channel in Venezuela. He can't control the internet.

Iran bans Facebook ahead of election. Iran has 800,000 bloggers and they can't silence them all.

and finally....

Bad weather and bang sticks birthday weekend.

And I'm the King of England by Cargosquid