News.....

Baby P monster raped girl of two: Stepfather faces life in jail after tiny victim makes legal history in court ordeal. Why we need to restore the death penalty.

Now thousands go off work with swine flu sickies. Skivers.

Brown doomed to summer of mutiny as ex-Home Secretary Charles Clarke says he is 'ashamed to be a Labour MP'. Brown is finished.

Pictured: The moment teenage suicide bomber was wrestled to the ground by Iraqi police. Nice one.

We're facing a 'bloody summer' in Afghanistan, warns British Nato commander - just as Brown sends in 700 MORE troops. We must hit their bases in Pakistan.

Swine flu fears for Obama as a White House staff member is suspected of contracting virus. Bull. Just a spot of spin.

Taliban planning to down British Chinook. Not good.

Jacqui Smith refuses to take blame for Gurkhas. She has no integrity.

Riots across Europe fuelled by economic crisis. It's going to be a long 'hot' summer.

US general says Pakistan could be just two weeks from collapse. Then things will really go tits up.

Robert Gates: bombing Iran would not stop nuclear threat. Well diplomacy isn't going to either.

Zimbabwe unity government ‘broke’, says Morgan Tsvangirai. And Britain isn't far behind.

Iraqi cleric Moqtada al-Sadr appears in public for first time in two years. Hopefully his plane will 'crash' on the way home.

Miss California stars in anti-gay marriage TV advert. A career in politics could be fun.

Kenya government 'on the verge of collapse'. Africa is a bloody mess.

British tourist celebrates birthday by fighting off pirates. Happy Birthday.

English village cricket team plays in Kabul. Civilization comes to Kabul.

Mission to break up Pacific island of rubbish twice the size of Texas. That's ambitious.

Chinese billions in Sri Lanka fund battle against Tamil Tigers. China is buying influence all over the place. We are going to regret this.

British play waiting game in Helmand before arrival of US troops. Then we can really start to hit the Taleban.

and finally.....

Brown's Britain gives me rules rage. Clarkypoos on form.