Light News....

Mr Speaker's last stand: Isolated Martin makes desperate attempt to keep his job as clamour grows for him to go. He must be thrown out.

Teacher's 'assault' hell: 'All I did was touch a pupil on the arm... so why was I barred from school? We must restore discipline in schools.

MPs' expenses: Officials colluded over mortgage claims. Jail them.

Maritime defences 'not properly resourced', say MPs. We have maritime defences!!!!!

Trial of Aung San Suu Kyi begins amid lockdown. Another country that needs regime change.

Barack Obama attempts to ward off disastrous military air strike on ‘nuclear’ Tehran. Just because he hasn't the balls to take on Iran.

It's a barracks for Obama, and the rest of G8, says Silvio Berlusconi. Expect much fighting over who gets the top bunk.