Signs.....

** In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

** On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."

** Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak."

** In a non-smoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

** On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."

** On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

** At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

** On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."

** On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."

** On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

** At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

** Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

** In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your pants here."

** On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

** In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

** At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

** In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"

** On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)

** In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

** Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

** In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."

** On a shoe makers shop, "I can save your soles and I'm willing to dye for you."

H/T DML