Idiots en masse....

I am a medical student currently doing toxicology . yesterday this woman
called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at
the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her
daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the casualty right
away.
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Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on an airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of
the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out
that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
Boeing.
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Number Three Idiot
A man, wanting to rob a Nat West Bank, he walked into the branch and wrote
this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting
to give his note to the girl, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the window.
So he left the Nat West Bank and crossed the street to the Barclays Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Barclays
Bank girl. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Nat West Bank deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Barclays deposit slip or
go back to the Nat West Bank.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a
few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Nat West Bank
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Number Four Idiot
A man walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the till.
After the girl put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch
that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the girl to put
it in the bag as well, but the girl refused and said, 'Because I don't
believe you are over 18.' The robber said he was, but the girl still
refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point,
the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
girl
The girl looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 18 and
she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with
his money.
The girl promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the
robber that she got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours
later.
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Idiot Number Five
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the
startled first bandit shot him.
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Idiot Number Six
Seems this idiot wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a litter bin through an off licence window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the litter bin and heaved it over his head at the
window. The litter bin bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems
the shop window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on
videotape.
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Idiot Number Seven
I live in a semi-rural area . We recently had a new neighbour call the
local town hall to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our
road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I
don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
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STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!

H/T AJD