Headlines.....

Tony Blair to brief new White House pet puppy on his duties.

Procrastinator of the Year Awards postponed again.

Shoppers left confused after local pet store fails to provide clear mission statement.

Fleet Street christens email smear furore ‘What-a-Git scandal’.

Receivers called in as government declares moral bankruptcy.

Free patio heater to be offered with every electric car purchase.

Daily Mail furious as French trawlers block supply of illegal immigrant stories.

H/T DML