10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I've Woke Up With a Few
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She Gets Better Lookin' with Every Beer
And the Number One Country & Western song is...
1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day
H/T Shelly
Monday, 2 March 2009
Top Ten Country Western Songs.....
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4 comments:
You forgot Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye"--Don and the Doughnuts
I still have the 45rpm single from many a year ago.
There's also The New Duncan Imperials Loving You is Like Running With a Fork in My Mouth (Down a really steep hill blindfolded).
And the classic Chris Wall, Loving You Is The Dumbest F*cking Thing I've Ever Done
As far as I know that might be the number one all time classic but it never was released by Wall. I'd type in the lyrics from memory but you would mostly get a large page of asterisks...Campfire or 2am gig song. Last time I saw him I tried to get him to close out the show with it and he said "people have kids here and such..." Everybody gets old and more polite in public but the great rude songs are burned in my brain.
Cheers,
Thomas
Oh, for historical accuracy as a semi-retired musician who played in loads of country bands, it's:
I Gave Her the Ring and She Gave Me the Finger
I honestly can't remember who cut that one first or author. Two many years in Honky Tonks playing and working sound. I think I heard them all, the rude ones.
The Supersuckers have a good one from the Pacific Northwest Cowboy Nation: She Used to be Pretty, Now She's Just Pretty F*cked Up
Lyrics from my neck of the woods, see if somebody recognizes the artist:
"She's got her bare feet on the dash, her pretty little head in my lap, it don't get no better than that, barefeet on the dash."
or
I Want To Kiss Her Butt She Won't Let Me
Artist quiz show for Theo readers.
Cheers,
Thomas
Imus occasionally mentions ``If I'd killed you when I wanted to I'd be out by now.''
I've heard Johnny Paycheck do that one but I don't know if he wrote it.
Cheers,
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