Tell tale Signs of Aging......

** There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, and the other two .... I forgot.

** You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

** Middle age is when work is a lot less fun - and fun a lot more work.

** Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the dandiest time for a guy to get those odds?

** You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

** Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

** By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

** Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

** A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

** You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

** At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take laxative.

** Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

** You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

** You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

** You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

** The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

** Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

** It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

H/T DML