News.....

Special relationship? Obama's people won't even answer the phone, whines Downing Street. Just wait 'til they need our help.

Home from the war... and our troops are greeted by abuse from Muslim protesters. Throw them all out. Apparently people were chucking bacon over the protesters.

Hospitals spend less on their patients' food than prisons on their inmates. The NHS continues to be an expensive joke.

Sorry, it's too wet for swimming: Health and safety close outdoor pool because of rain 'risk'. Only in Britain.

Barack Obama rejects accusation that he is taking on too much too soon. Waaaay too much. He should take a break, preferably for about 4 years.

Robert Mugabe attends funeral for rival Morgan Tsvangirai's wife. Gloating that he has ruined his rivals life.

Soldiers targeted by Muslim extremists in Luton will march again in Watford. Let them take loaded weapons this time.

Family of Gurkha killed in Afghanistan allowed to live in Britain. And so they should.

Dalai Lama: China has created 'hell' in Tibet. Yup. No one is going to do anything about it though.

Monkey 'kills cruel owner with coconut thrown from tree'. Hee hee.

‘Difficult’ Americans hamper G20 efforts to secure a global deal. A global solution is not going to be the answer. Individual nations have different problems and need different solutions.

F1 chief Max Mosley may still sue News of the World over 'Nazi orgy' claim. And he will lose.

Nicolas Sarkozy ignores enemy fire as he marches France back into Nato. There goes the neighbourhood.