A Dead Horse............from Rico

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to
generation, says: "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the
best strategy is to dismount."



However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more advanced
strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a heavier, longer whip.

2. Charging the current rider with a felony to divert attention from the fact that the horse appears impaired.

3. Creating a federal commission to certify that the dead horse is a problem inheirited from the Bush administration and recommend massive spending stimulus measures to turn around the current downward trend in the value of dead horses and reimburse their owners.

4. Arranging Congressional fact-finding visits to other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses and fund their upkeep.

5. Establishing that the horse was, in fact, a minority horse which was disadvantaged to death as a result of discrimination suffered under the Bush admistration, and announce a Justice Department probe to ferret out the guilty vice-president and and bring him to justice.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as merely living-impaired and announce the formation
of a federally funded outreach program to be called "No Living-impaired Horse Left Behind".

7. Hiring additional Booz-Hamilton contractors uniquely skilled at riding dead horses.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to form a focus group.

9. Creating a federal program within the Department of Health, Education and Welfare for the rehabilitation of dead horses to return them to meaningful roles in society.

10. Funding a productivity study under DARPA to determine if a special corps of lightweight riders (to be provided by Booz-Hamilton) would improve the dead horse's performance sufficiently to justify long term changes in the force structure.

11. Declaring that since this dead horse does not have to be fed, costs less to buy,
and has lower long-term overhead, it actually represents a much better investment in America's future than any programs from previous administrations, and more dead government horses will be procured from a no-bid supplier located adjacent to the Chicago Stockyards.

12. Rewriting (lowering) the required performance standards for all horses, thereby blurring the unfair distinction between living and dead horses.

And of course....

13. Promoting the dead horse to a government supervisory position, which removes
the requirement for him to move around or be ridden.