People were in their pews at church....

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don't you know who I am?”

The man replied, “Yep, sure do.”

“Aren't you afraid of me?” Satan asked.

“Nope, sure ain't,” said the man.

“Don't you realize I can kill with a single word?” asked Satan

“Don't doubt it for a minute,” returned the old man in an even tone.

“Do you know that I can cause you profound horrifying AGONY for all eternity?” persisted Satan.

“Yep,” was the calm reply.

“And you're still not afraid?” asked Satan.

“Nope,” said the old man

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren't you afraid of me?”

The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for 44 years.”

H/T Stormbringer