News.....

Explosives haul missing in Gaza. Next time, and there will be one, drop one MOAB instead of all the itty bitty little ones.

Brits trapped on South Pole liner. A bit of excitement for them.

Foreign workers double to 3.8m under Labour - and majority are from OUTSIDE the EU. Someone has got to do all the jobs the British are too lazy to do. We have made the benefits culture to easy to live on so many have no incentive to work.

Tessa Jowell's estranged husband jailed for 4 years for accepting Berlusconi bribe - but he won't spend a day behind bars. She should resign. Had it been a Tory spouse they would have been hounded from office.

Picture: Lakelander



















At last! Mobile phone giants join forces to launch universal charger. About time.

Giant oil slick closing in on British shores after Russian aircraft carrier dumps 500 tons of fuel in the Irish Sea. What the f**k is a Russki Carrier doing in the Irish Sea? Can't see any planes on it's deck. Must have spent the cash on the fuel.

Dolphin stays for three days with mate wounded in shark attack - before escorting it to humans for help. Ahhhh....

There's no place like dome: An eco-dream of a house...straight from the medieval drawing board. Clever. There again my house if ever built will go up in 6 hours or less.

How 100 Blunkett Bobbies only handed out 15 fines in three years at a cost of £10m. Shop front mannequins would be of more use.

WILLIAM HAGUE: Britain and torture - the questions David Miliband MUST answer. Man's a fool.









Archbishop of York, Dr John Sentamu: Christians are regarded as 'mad' by society. The sooner he is made Archbish-in-Chief the better. Not sure that any of our politicians have the balls to promote him. They seem to have an aversion to a Church of England with a strong leader.

Teens can live without sex but not music. I notice this is 16-24 year olds. Everyone under the age of 16 is shagging for Britain so they can sell their illegal pregnancy story to the press.

Equatorial Guinea hit by 'Dogs of War' attack. Good idea. One of the odious regimes in Africa.

Comrade Duch 'smashed' thousands in his notorious jail. About time someone got tried for the Khmer Rouge atrocities.

Barack Obama refuses to rule out second stimulus package. The first one isn't going to work so the Dims will go for the 'if at first you don't succeed etc' option.

Octuplet mother Nadya Suleman dropped by PR firm after death threats. She is unfit to be a mother. The children should be placed with families who can give them a proper stable upbringing.

Peter Mandelson launches fierce attack on Starbucks chief over UK economy. How did someone with Mandy Pandy's dodgy financial background end up giving 'advice' to a business leader.

Now is the time to champion British farmers. Good idea. The British farmer needs your support.

Elderly Britons given lifeline out of Zimbabwe. They are more than welcome. Better still send the Paras on a long weekend 'safari' to get rid of Mugabe and his cronies.

Gordon Brown 'will miss targets on child poverty'. No surprises. He has missed every other target he has set.

Toxic British waste sent illegally to Africa. At least we are 'exporting' something.

Blue Peter should be modelled on Jeremy Clarkson's Top Gear, says BBC chief. Connie Huq poledancing would also improve ratings! (Yes I know she has left the show.)

Secrecy and denial as Pakistan lets CIA use airbase to strike militants. So they should.

Hillary Clinton warns North Korea on missile testing. Bet they are scared 's**tless'.

Barack Obama deploys 17,000 more troops to Afghanistan. He is becoming a 'warmonger'!!!!!!

Nuclear weapons lab loses 67 computers. Oooops!

Dubai Double Fault. A cosmopolitan city, unless you're Jewish.

and finally......

Five Minutes With: Stephen Fry. A quick interview on the Beeb.