Best of Bumper Stickers.....

· If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
· Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
· It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better
· I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
· Sorry, I don’t date outside my species
· Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
· Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
· As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
· Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
· Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
· Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
· I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car …
· I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
· Your kid may be an honour student but you’re still an IDIOT!
· It’s as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
· When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the Inland Revenue.
· Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
· Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
· Wink, I’ll do the rest!
· I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
· When there’s a will, I want to be in it!
· Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
· If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
· Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
· My karma ran over my dogma.
· Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from.
· Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
· We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
· Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
· He who laughs last thinks slowest.
· Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
· Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
· Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
· Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
· Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
· Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
· There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
· Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

H/T DML