TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
5. Weed.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
4. You can blame all your problems on the 'Anglo *#!%!'
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick .
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone has been an extra on 'Road to Avonlea.'
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3. The workday is about two hours long.
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.
H/T Pete Hurrell
Thursday, 29 January 2009
Reasons to live In Canada....
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13 comments:
Absolutely hilarious!! Had a great chuckle reading these and Stumbled this post.
It's all so funny because it's all so true. :)
And there's no reasons to live in the NWT? The Yukon? Nunavut?
Dave
Unless you can provide, no ...
Cheers
Hilarious!
TOP 5th REASON TO LIVE IN QUÉBEC
$400,000.00 gets you two very decent houses 30 mins from downtown Montréal
TOP 6th REASON TO LIVE IN QUÉBEC
Montréal: An island, 1 million people, 14 bridges + 1 Tunnel. You do the math.
Top 7th REASON TO LIVE IN QUÉBEC
Gas costs 10¢ per litre more than in any other provinces but you get to blame the greedy Albertans.
That $400,000 Toronto home is actually a 450 sq ft studio condo but you do get to share the swimming pool.
I think the article might be a little dated? Under Novia Scotia it slighted newfoundland for being poor. Yet newfoundland is the first atlantic province to become a HAVE province.. since.. well.. as far back as I can remember :)
Ontario tooks its place as the poor province.. lol.
Poor New Brunswick. It doesn't even get interesting stereotypes.
New Brunswick: Canada's biggest causeway.
Anyone remember the 2001 book called 'How to be a Canadian' by Will Ferguson. He really nailed each province. I remember his Alberta motto: "We have oil, we have money, we have guns; don't piss us off."
1 reason you should live in Québec
legal drinking age : 18 years old
but let's face it is just a suggestion
well alberta also has chinooks that no one ever talks about. it gets 40 below at night and the next day it is 40 above.
alberta has cowboys and mountains and prairies and plains and it has the most sunshine of any province in canada.
alberta has two major cities and no one in either place can remember the name of the other place.
new brunswick has the acadians and is the only officially bilingual province in canada.
lobsters come from there and clams and eels from the rivers. a prime minister of england was born there as was lord beaverbrook.
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