News....

Opium, muck and bullets: The Mail joins the Gurkhas on patrol in Afghanistan. Great piece.

Harare diary: 'Hope has died'. What are the odds on Obama doing anything to end the suffering in Zimbabwe? Brown hasn't the balls.

Expect fireworks when details of MPs’ expenses are made public. Lynch mobs at the ready.

Sniper rifle software launched for iPod touch. Finally. A use for the iPod.

Government forced to bail out major Olympic projects. How do I get a Government Bailout? Everyone else seems to be getting one.

Around 2,500 jobs are lost every day, 1.92m are out of work and the future looks bleak. We are in meltdown.

Fifty years for 'urban terrorists': Animals rights fanatics jailed for campaign of intimidation. Hang the scum.

Binmen warned to wear earmuffs by Heath and Safety Executive. The HSE are bad for your sanity.

The handy little laptop: But the price isn't so tiny... a basic model will cost £849! Perfect for a busy blogger.

Sketch: Gordon Brown could be one of the new unemployed. Not soon enough.

President Barack Obama vows to clean up American politics. Fat chance. There is nothing more corrupt that a socialist.

Pakistan arrests al-Qaeda suspect 'with links to 2005 London bombings'' Now try him over there where he can be executed.

Gaza's smuggling tunnels open again. Egypt must be forced to shut them down on their side.

France targets Coca-Cola in escalating 'cheese wars'. Countries have gone to war over less.

Doh! President Obama retakes his oath. So technically everything he did yesterday didn't count.

Travellers Lose Eviction Ruling. Boot the bastards out and then go after all the other illegal travellers camps. Hell get the IDF to move them