News....

"I'm a successful Somali pirate": Yassin's story. Soon to be ex-pirate.

Growing stocks of unsold cars around the world. There are a lot of them.

Coastguards can't start a rescue until they fill out a healthy and safety assessment. It is time we got rid of the Health and Safety Executive. They are no longer useful.

Religion divides us more than race, say Britons. No s**t.

Army chief pledges to ease pressure of combat tours on soldiers' families. Just increase the military. If Brown can find 200 billion for the banks he can find 50 billion for the Armed Forces.

No, Brown can’t save the world - but nor can his rivals. Our entire political class is bankrupt of ideas. They are totally inbred. If we are going to save Britain we must first rid ourselves of the political partie's stranglehold on our political system.

Britain will suffer worst slump in Europe, warns Commission in damning report. The only person who cannot see how bad things are is Brown.

George Galloway divorced over 'unreasonable behaviour'. Who the f**k would want to marry the asshole in the first place?

Zimbabwe talks to end power-sharing deadlock end in collapse. Hardly surprising. Mugabe will never share power.

Al-Qaeda cell killed by Black Death 'was developing biological weapons'. Of course they were. They will continue to do so until they are eradicated from the face of the earth.

Rebuilding the Gaza Strip 'will cost billions'. Not if we don't give them any money.