TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive
H/T Mark G
Friday, 30 January 2009
Global Business Model........using Cows.
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3 comments:
Those cows are destroying the planet, smartypants.
YOu have Two Cows
This is the American Way...
You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your friend at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for 5-Cows.
The milk rights of the 6-Cows are transferred via an intermediary to a company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7-Cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns 8-Cows, with an option on 1 more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9-Cows.
No balance sheet available for release
The public buys your Bull.
What is with all the un-called for kiwi bashing of late?
Theo -everyone knows it's the WELSH that engage in sexual relationships with their livestock and its the AUSTRALIANS who engage in sexual relations with close female relatives.
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