SOMALIAN PIRATES ANNOUNCE 30 REDUNDANCIES

In a further sign of the global economic downturn, Somalian pirates have been forced to reduce headcount.

Analysts blame the reduction in retail activity, which in turn has led to less goods being shipped past their top secret hidden pirate base ( in the port of Eyl in Somalia, warehouse B ).

'This has been a difficult decision” commented a one-eyed gang leader, “But we need to realign our structure to cope with worsening market conditions. Arr.”

One pirate, who wished to remain anonymous, said: “This is going to hit my family hard. My only income so far this year has been $400,000 in ransom money. There just isn't any piracy work here now. I'll have to become a plumber. I've heard it pays really well. Arr.”

The IUP ( International Union of Pirates ) has today pledged to lobby governments worldwide to ensure more boats are sent past Somalia, to avoid the death of what was once a booming industry. “Some pirate gangs are not complying with the current employment regulations” said a one-legged union spokesman “when we negotiated for severance packages we meant cash not limbs. It’s just not good enough. Arr.”


H/T DML