The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, you'll remember this story.

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.

Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she askes the sales clerk: 'Dddooo youuuu hhhave ddddiillldosss?'

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing replies 'Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models.'

The old lady then asks: 'Ddddoooo yyyouuuu cccarrry aaa pppinnkk oonnee, ttteeennn iincches lllong aaanndd aabbbooouutt ttwwoo iincchess tthiicck…aaand rruuns bbby bbbaatteerrieees s?'

The clerk responds: 'Yes we do.'

She asks: 'Ddddooo yyyoouuu kknnooww hhhooww tttooo ttuuurrnn tthhe sssunnoffaaabbii ttch offff?

H/T Don Emslie