News...

Out of the 4,500 residents of Falinge, Rochdale, only 300 work - despite hundreds of jobs being available. Cut off their benefits.

Behave at school and you'll be given a PlayStation or plasma TV, pupils are told. Pathetic. This is no way to create discipline and respect.

Is this the saddest dog in Britain? Theo, the puppy dumped at a rehoming centre on Christmas Day. Find the 'owners' and shoot them.

Council official evicted elderly tenants from bungalows... then moved in herself. Norwich council are a bunch of crooks.

Cheers! Now they tell us beer and wine give us cancer. That's me screwed!!

Housing market crash has led to 32,000 estate agents losing their job. Oh Dear!!

Barack Obama questioned by FBI agents over Blagojevich Illinois senate seat scandal. Tut tut. The Obamassiah's halo is slipping already.

Record number out for Boxing Day hunt. Tally ho!

CIA give Afghan warlords Viagra in exchange for information on Taliban. That's one way of keeping up support.

Pakistan sends 20,000 troops to Indian frontier. This could go tits up very quickly.

Radical Islamists linked to al-Qaeda set to take control of Somalia. Here we go again.