News...

Zimbabwe: Carter And Annan Turned Away. Good. Zimbabwe has enough problems without those two assholes interfering. Until Mugabe is removed nothing will change.

Pirates Warn Against Armed Attack. Pirates v Seals and SBS. Should be a fairly short contest.

Final insult: Now public faces paying millions to provide Baby P's mother with a new identity. Don't let the bitch out of prison. Better still hang her.

British terror suspect 'killed in US airstrike' in Pakistan. Scratch another one.

The BBC was too scared to sack Jonathan Ross, so the obscenity goes on. People should join together and stop paying the licence fee. They cannot prosecute everyone.

Alistair Darling - you'll make things even worse. Darling is a marxist muppet.

Chavez accused of behaving like 'dictator' ahead of elections. He is a bloody dictator.

Jodrell Bank telescope 'was secret nuclear missile warning system'. It will be again if Obama scraps missile defence.

Prince William joins special forces for Caribbean training. Send him after the pirates.

Only drastic action will save us, says Brown. A general election would be a good start so we can get rid of him and the rest of the socialist scum.

The 20 greatest car chases in movie history. A good choice.

Mahdi Army warns of new insurgency in Iraq if US troops stay until 2011. And they will get their asses kicked again. Al Sadr should have been neutralised years ago.

and finally.

Man Up. Jules has been checking out his manhood!!