A little Irish Humour......

Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!

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Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?'

Paddy replies 'I don't know! Its your f***ing plane!!'

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Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'

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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses & lies on the bed spread-eagled & says 'You know what I want don't you?'

'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'

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Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!

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Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman who's head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her. A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said 'I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!'

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An Irishman is shagging a Jewish girl & says 'You're not very tight for a Jew!'

She says 'Well you're not very thick for a Paddy!'

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Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.

'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didnt even know they had mobile phones!'

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Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick says 'Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!'

Paddy says 'Whats his name?'

Mick replies 'Miles from London!'

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An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay. Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick fu**wits like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the s**t out of you if I could swim!'

H/T M Kohl