The Sunday Best....

Secret U.S. mission hauls uranium from Iraq. Remind me. What is Uranium used for?

Meet the RAF's newest combat group: pilotless planes flying crack missions in Afghanistan from 8,000 miles away. Nice of the media to catch up with the rest of us.

The Olympic spending spree is on... Officials claim £100,000 for lavish parties and meals. Hold them to account because the Olympics are not on time and not on budget.

Russian spies leaving the door open for terrorists in Britain. Boot them out.

Peter Mandelson hits out at 'protectionist' Nicholas Sarkozy. Mandy Pandy is in a tizzy.

Syria 'would break links with Iran' if America steps in to help it. Boy Assad knows that standing beside Imadinnerjacket does not give him much of a future. The fact that we have 'won' in Iraq doesn't help him either. He has been supporting the terrorists all along and now realises that we may want to 'discuss' the matter with him.

General Sir Richard Dannatt victim of 'dirty tricks' campaign. Then I suggest the General 'overthrows' the civil service. This country would run itself far better without the Whitehall Wankers.

Civil servants paid £128 million in bonuses. Another reason to get rid of them. There is not a single Government Department that works properly and these idiots must be held to account for their failings.

Iraqis lead final purge of Al-Qaeda. Afghanistan is going to need a surge next.

Government asks stores to stockpile food to overcome hauliers strike. Another headline designed to create panic and therefore more good headlines!!

Sniffer dogs to wear ‘Muslim’ bootees. WTF! Sod their sensibilities. Criminals do not have rights whatever their religion.

Met marksman gets £5,000 payout over ‘serial killer’ quip. If he is that effing sensitive he should be a crossing guard not a bloody marksman.

Teenage girls raped at Robert Mugabe's torture camps. Either we do something or we disarm ourselves and hide under the stairs because if we cannot be bothered to take down a scumbag like Mugabe and save thousands of innocent lives we lose the right to take on anyone else. Iran, Burma and Sudan are all happy full in the knowledge that the West has lost it's nerve. All it takes is a couple of calls to Zimbabwe's neighbours saying 'no more aid for you chum until Mugabe is gone'.

and the Clarkypoos bit....

Look, Mr McChap - you’re part of Britain, so just get over it. The Scottish get a broadside.

Porsche 911 Carrera GT2.