News....

End of the John Lewis list: MPs to be banned from buying TVs and installing new kitchens on expenses. It is time that MP's expenses were made public and held up to scrutiny.

Out goes corned beef, in comes pasta salad as new-style army rations combat 'menu fatigue'. Bring back bacon burgers and biscuits AB.

A quarter of adults to face 'anti-paedophile' tests. And they wonder why no-one wants to look after children any more.

Nuclear missiles could blow up 'like popcorn'. Imadinnerjacket would like extra butter on his!!

How to build a greener H-bomb. You mustn' damage the enveronment!!!!

Blond, white schoolboy is al-Qa'eda extremist, say police. Nothing a good birching won't cure!!

Mother told baby's bare bottom is pornographic. Porn no. Odd yes!! There is a 21 year old lad who will be forever grateful to ASDA.

Zimbabwe's last white farmer forced to quit. I don't see Zimbabwe's farming ever recovering from Mugabe.

Nelson Mandela attacks Zimbabwe's 'tragic failure of leadership'. Actually he spent more time condemming the Iraq War. All Mandela did was briefly mention Zim and 'a tragic failure of leadership' is hardly harsh. The liberal fools who have elevated this commie terrorist to an effing 'messiah' are wetting themselves with excitement over this 'rebuke'. A slap with a soggy stick of celery has more clout to it.

Taleban 'siege' of Peshawar threatens Pakistan's grip. We are going to have to sort this mess out as well. Genetic weapons anyone?