News..

The MPs' goldmine: They work just 13 years to get a pension it would take you 62 years to get. MPs should not be paid. They should do it for the love of their country. Political service should be an honour not an effing meal tickets for the dishonest and dishonourable scum that infest British politics.

High-Level al-Qaida Figure Is Captured. Wire his danglies to the mains until he gives up Bin Liner!

Beware Commies in Fairtrade jerseys. Clarkypoos on the Commie rabble that are still out there.

Paramedic sues elderly couple after twisting ankle on front step during emergency call. Stephen Canning should be sacked immeadiately. Scrounging scumbag.

Attacks on staff and pupils, false allegations and death threats: The crimes of Britain's 32 worst pupils (who were still allowed back into classrooms). Send them to Afghanistan!

Inside the amazing cave city that housed 25,000 Allied troops under German noses in WWI. Damn clever us British chaps.

Coroner: Radio would have saved SAS captain. So who's head is going to roll. No ones. The MOD will continue to kill our troops with complete abandon until someone shut's them down.

China unleashes guns and tear gas as Tibet protests turn violent. Stop buying crap with Made in China on it. Thee are plenty of other countries making the stuff we need.

Iran's call to vote ignored by millions. Who can blame them. They only had the choice of Islamonazis or Islamoloonies!! Democracy didn't enter into it.

James May: Time for a new watch. Dash-mounted stopwatches, chronograph wristwatches, macho timepieces... do we really need them?

I fought for my land against the US. Now I fight alongside them. Took him long enough to work out we are the good guys.

The race to the off-licence gets under way as drinkers run to beat the Budget. Darling hasn't got a clue. Britain's economy is wrecked beyond recovery.

For sale: mansions, towns and shooting ranges. Please call: Russia's army. Who would want to live in Putin's Russia?

Priest hurt in faith-hate attack. Find them, Hang them.