Installing a Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support, last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance-- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operatedflawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirableprograms such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashesthe system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but tono avail.

What can I do? Signed, Desperate

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Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "I Thought YouLoved Me.exe" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install theGuilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 shouldthen automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus inthe background that will eventually seize control of all your systemresources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. Theseare unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limitedmemory and cannot learn new applications quickly.You might consider buying additional software to improve memory andperformance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck, Tech Support

H/T Shelly