Theo Spark

A five-year-old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulled a beer out of the cooler. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa replied, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" The little boy answered, "No Grandpa, it's just a little pecker!" Grandpa said, "Then you're not man enough to have a beer."

A little later Grandpa lit up a cigar. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" Once again, Grandpa asked, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" The little boy answered "no," again. Grandpa said, "Then you're not man enough to have a cigar."

A little later, the boy came out of the house with some cookies and milk. Grandpa asked, "Can I have a cookie?" The boy asked, "Can your pecker touch your ass?" Grandpa replied, "Hell yeah, my pecker can touch my ass!"

The boy replied, "Then go f**k yourself! Grandma made these for me."

H/T Canis 61